Breadcrumbs
Sometimes finding and following your will seems like following
a trail of breadcrumbs. When my focus is on what is loving
and magical around me, the crumbs are many and easy to follow.
When, at other times, while allowing fear and ego to rule
my mind, I sometimes walk a long way before the thought occurs
to me to wonder where the breadcrumbs have all gone.
My first thought is that you must have stopped leaving them,
then that the birds have clearly eaten them. While thinking
these disturbing thoughts, I find myself standing still.
Panic most often occurs next as I consider that I am alone
and lost and may have wandered far from your intended path.
My panic increases as I become aware that it is unclear to
me exactly when I stopped paying attention to your guidance.
When the stiffness of inaction and the pain of loneliness
become uncomfortable enough, I begin again to listen for
the quiet voice which speaks your truth inside my soul.
It gently reminds me that I need only ask again for your help
and I will be shown the way back to that place where I can clearly
see your direction. You speak first to my fear for you know
that it exists as a shroud that must be removed if I am to once
again see truth. Your kind words let me know that you have
not stopped providing a trail for me to follow and that neither
would you ever allow your markers to be destroyed. You show
me that I need only trace my steps back until I can once again
see the right way forward.
How, I then ask, can I possibly retrace my steps when I was
not watching where I was going? You tell me that I must look
back at each step I have taken and look closely at each place
I have passed through since losing my way. You tell me that
even though it may not have been your path for me, that I must
nevertheless repair any damage I may have caused while
walking blindly.
As I cast out to try and find my tracks, my first steps back
are taken slowly and sometimes tearfully as fear yet dangles
many tempting propositions along the edges of my perception.
"Look at me - I am valid ", they each call out as
I pass, and with each I am tempted to turn and see. At times
I close my eyes and I stumble.
Once again your loving message plays in the center of my
awareness telling me that I need not look in their direction
nor listen to their pitches, for their's is a world
of illusion and false reality, and not a safe place for one
of your beloved children. You further remind me that if
I can allow your Love to lead my wanderings-I will again
be unblinded. "Teach my truth, " you tell me,
"and it will become yours."
Usually by about now I have begun again to feel your light
warming my spirit, and as my resolve is reborn, I remember
that I made a decision long ago to try and lead my life for
you. It is then, again, that I stop fighting. It is then,
again, that I surrender. It is then, again, that I open my
eyes and smile. Why then, again, am I surprised that the
first thing I see is a breadcrumb...
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