You Know You're Dealing With A SAM When...
He's up against the kitchen table, you're caning
him and he's reading sports section and having his
morning coffee.
The minute you start to get intimate with her, she giggles
and starts humming the first line to "It's A Small
World After All".
You send him for the hairbrush, and he asks whether or not
you're going to finally do something about hiding
the gray in your hair.
You tell her to dress like a slut, and she returns in one
of your mother's favorite outfits.
You apply clothespins to his nipples and testicles; he
removes them long enough to hang the laundry.
She calls out her safeword; you stop and ask if she's
OK - she informs you she's missing Melrose Place.
You tell him no masturbation for a week, and he pouts that
all the other Mistresses are letting their slaves do it.
You tie her up during a bondage demo, and when you turn to
the audience to explain your technique, not only has she
gotten undone, she's performing rope tricks for the
crowd.
You order him to count during a spanking, and he does his
best Dracula imitation.
You tell her to keep track of the cropping, and she counts
"1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 25, 50, 75, done."
After an intense scene, you're covered with sweat
and physically drainedshe's griping that she chipped
her nail polish.
You say need a back rub, and he replies "a face lift
wouldn't hurt, either."
In the middle of getting paddled, your sub looks right
at you and says "oh yeah, like you meant it!"
You can't find your favorite flogger - that is, until
you notice the new macram plant holder hanging in the corner.
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