To Love, Honor & Sign A Prenup?
Its a subject that everyone in a relationship has an opinion
on. Should you make your spouse-to-be sign on the dotted
line before saying "I do?
The concept of prenuptial agreements is relatively new.
Before the equitable distribution law was passed (around
1980 here in New York), there were no guidelines for dividing
possessions when a marriage dissolved. Wives were often
left with nothing when wealthy husbands put everything
in their names.
The new law changed that. Equitable distribution means
that if and when a couple divorces, a judge will define the
marital estate -- all assets acquired after the marriage
date and prior to the date the divorce action was filed --
place a value on those assets, and divide them equitably.
Times have changed. With 30 percent of today's working
girls out-earning their beaus, more and more women are
requesting their men to sign a prenuptial agreement. And
us men, of course, have been doing it for years.
Im personally torn on the subject. The passionate side
of me says that deciding what you'll do when your relationship
fails seems like a pretty pessimistic way to start a union
that's supposed to last your entire lives. Isn't
marriage about sharing all of yourself and your life with
another person?
Drawing up a prenup says you're willing to share your
life but not your bank account. If you have that many doubts
about your partner's character or commitment you
probably shouldn't be walking down the aisle.
Then there is the financial side of me that says marriage
may be about love and trust, but divorce isn't. How
can you be sure you'll still both want to treat each
other with respect if the whole relationship falls apart?
A prenup shows you're thinking with your head as well
as your heart. Nothing is certain in life, and if your lady
really loves you, she should have no problem making sure
your financial security can be saved, even if your marriage
can't be.
Not being to figure out my own opinion on my own, I decided
to look at what the masses think about this subject. There
was an article in "The New York Times" that surveyed
Americans on this just a few weeks ago. Seventy-nine percent
of Americans saw benefit in prenuptial agreements. That
percentage is a lot higher then I ever thought it would be.
Americans are free to do what they want, but in my view, prenuptial
agreements risks turning your wife into something more
like a concubine. Its saying to her and the world that you
really aren't willing to risk your all with this woman.
You are really thinking about protecting and preserving
yourself. And that's a bad attitude to go into marriage
with. And frankly, you shouldnt be getting married...
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